A Quest For Knowledge

Footprints! A clue? No time to investigate further. I've got places to be.


If these walls could talk. Oh, if these walls could talk. I'd be rich. Well, not as rich as astronauts, but comfortable at least.


Another clue? Meet at the arch at midnight, eh? Come alone and unarmed.


I had to get rid of some rubbish, trash or garbage. Just wait a minute and I'll get back to the photo-journalling.


The infamous arch I've heard so much about.


Alas! It's closed.


Ha, no door, wall or gate has been built that can keep I, Chin, out.


Farewell, my smelly friends. In this life or the next I will never see you again.


This is my favourite street. It's such a pretty little thing. Shame about the puddle. It totally ruins it.


My building. I say my, but it's not really. I just live here.


A wall made of leaves! What will they think of next?


Oh Lord, the French are in town. I assume they are French, I have no concrete proof. What I'm hinting at is the smell. I'm a racist, you see.


Oooh la la. Look at that thing. I don't know what it's for, all I know is it's new, shiny and would have been burnt as a witch twenty years ago.


This pen has been run out the last three times I've been to the bank. Heads will fly when I take this to the head office.


Always with the queueing. Someone needs to have a sit down and seriously think about the way queues work nowadays. The system is outdated. For too long it has been order of arrival. It's the 21st century, for god's sake, what's the point of being tall or having a name beginning with 'A' if I can't push in front of old women at the bank?


I gave this woman my money. I have no hard evidence to prove that she works for Lloyds TSB, my money could be long gone, filed down into dust and shipped to Jamaica. "So what if she was in the uniform and sitting behind the counter" the judge will say. "You should have asked if she was a member of staff first, only a fool would assume, now get out of my courtroom before I puke all over your head".


Even if I live to be a thousand, Poundland will never become a recognised state. Never.


A pink tv! What will they think of next? A gay, black, female, Iraqi, short, paedophile president?


No season four of 24 for me. A shame.


A pink guitar! What will they think of next? A pink tv?


If there's one thing we need more of it's sword shops, shops that sell swords. The world would be a better place if we could all draw our swords in times of peril.


I checked Rowlands for season four of 24, but they didn't even have one, two or three. There's no way I'm buying it new. Not on my budget.


The Crown Court. Maybe I should run in and disrupt a trial by claiming to have life saving evidence. I'm sure I'll be there soon enough anyway when I have to make a statement about those footprints at the bottom of my stairs. That's probably what the case is right now, but time is money.


What a bloody bastard. What would his mother say if she could see him now? Definitely not "Having you adopted was the worst decision of my life".


An old bus. It's not the university bus, but it does go to the university. Explain that, Stevie Hawking.


The amount of paperwork that has to be filed before you can get onto the campus is ridiculous. Unless you're on a bus, then it's no questions asked.


Fulton House, an ugly building.


Even at half three the bloody leaflet bastards are still going strong. Death to the leaflet givers, that's what I say or said. Once. In my head.


That's not really Borat, it's just a cardboard cutout.


Jesus Christ, that is the best invention I have ever seen. It's some sort of futuristic bike unwetter. I could live in there. No. I will live in there.


The campus is like a ghost town. That man is giving me the finger. Unappreciated in my own time, such a shame.


This is the Egypt Centre. If you're lucky I'll take you in there one day.


The Keir Hardie building. Ignore those silly white tenty things, that's how we used to keep bikes dry before the revolution.


Before my lecture I have offical business to carry out, I need to give in my dissertation topic form.


The secretary was on the phone and she stayed so for many minutes. I needed to get the form signed by someone, but that someone didn't answer my knock on his door. My plan was in ruins.


Happy Birthday, I'm taking you all to the Egypt Centre. This is a book of spells. Use them wisely.


Ancient action figures in near mint condition.


What could be better than a mummified cat?


A mummified crocodile, of course.


I wonder what the Waterstones bestseller chart has to say. I don't want to read any of these books.


Lemon Fanta, but without the sugar, just like sex without the orgasm.


Ha, look at these bikes. If it starts to rain now they'll be soaked. People fear change.


My lecturer has arrived from America, but she probably lives in Swansea now. What a depressing thought. There's no way that she doesn't wake up crying each morning.


The girl who is about to sit down was wearing a Superman t-shirt, but you can't see it, which is probably for the best. It was one of those blaspehmous glittery ones. How can people bring such disgrace upon the most important symbol of the past 100 years?


In the very unlikely situation where we would need to look at slides, I could be the guy who does the clicking to the next one. It's not a job that pays well, but the rewards are obvious.


A girl with tattoos on her arm. Maybe I should get a Superman tattoo. I haven't got good enough arms to get it on my arm and I don't have enough uncowardness to get a non-small one. Please send in your solutions to this problem.


Fifteen years of eduction and I'm still being taught my ABCs.


Yes, paper, I've seen it loads of times before.


Time to go. I've lost my bus ticket and I've got no money.


There's a long road ahead of me. If only I wasn't so ill that my lungs have closed down and poured out of my arse.


What rational explanation can there be for this?


The green man is flashing. Mwahahaha. You know, flashing like revealing his penis to a busload of foreign exchange children.


Only in 2006 could a woman be riding a bike and a man be holding a baby.


Looketh, it's the beach, like that film about the beach. The Beach.


Remember the days when I used to work in that pub? I sure do. What a bunch of cunts the new management were. They sacked me like the dog that I was, just because I have a pure heart.


Kids these days get everything. I certainly didn't get wonderful boats on the beach to play on. I'll go back tonight and burn it down. That'll teach them.


Will nothing go my way today? First I can't find season four of 24, then I lose my bus ticket, now the sun has exploded. Great.


Will I make it to the bridge in time?


Right, it's now or never. There's every chance that the bridge will open when I'm in the middle and my inability to swim will surely see me dead.


It's often strange to see a Ferrari in Swansea. If someone can afford to spend so much on a car then they've got no right living in Swansea, or more specifically, one street away from me, a poor poor student.


Home sweet home.