Another Birthday

Like all tragic stories, it is vital to start with a terrible face.


We were in The Office, a pub, not an office. I went to the toilet to rid myself of urine and I spotted this graffiti. It was in Welsh. I have no idea what is means.


On another wall there an exciting arguement taking place.


I spied a confused fruit machine that thought it was a dartboard.


The birthday boy, Evan, 21, Swansea.


There's Keir again. That guy. On the left was Sarah, on the right was I.


There was a quiz machine that didn't let you win money, of course you still had to pay to play, but the only prize was pride and I certainly have no interest in that.


Inevitably, as we left a piggy back battle occured.


Like savages riding savages they fought away like the gladiators of Rome and 90s ITV.


Who won? Definitely not humanity.


If you wish to see a video of the battle, you can see it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMkLBIWZSPA

This will be the only time you ever get to see live action photo-journalling with me in the background. I am doing it in an over enthusiastic manner. I apologise.

We arrived at Face Off and paid our money. £4.


Find me a shinier stairway and I will eat my hat.


Immediately I went to the toilet and spotted some more graffiti. It appears that tit head is now king, but king of what?


Have I missed something? Has civilisation been turned on its head?


Quite cleverly they id you at the bar instead of the door now. That way they can kick you out after you've paid.


I drank the drink of Kings, although maybe not the drink of tit head. Double vodka and lemonade. I dread to think how much I paid for it.


Back to the toilets I went. Why? Had I ruptured my bladder? I'm still no closer to answering that question. Is this really what the world has come to?


Richard had a piss. We have to make a big deal about it when he does it in the toilet, because he's still learning. Good boy, Rich.


Somehow I became wet, but I wasn't afraid of drowning, because I had an armband on.


I prayed to the heavens and asked the Lord to come and end it all. Enough was enough, the world was in a terrible state of affairs. I'd had enough.


I sat patiently and awaited His answer.


My prayers were answered. My soul had left my body and I was ascending to a better existence. But wait! What's this? Something's going on down there.


I gave up my one shot at eternal happiness to find out what was going on between James and Rich. I am still no closer to finding out.


I'm not sure why I took this photo. Was it his hair? His stripes? Had I discovered that this man is the cause of every single thing going wrong in my life? It was probably the stripes.


I left. Alone. Did I say goodbye to everyone? Possibly.


I yawned the yawn of a thousand tired soldiers.


Praise the Lord, it's the apocalypse. Oh, how I have waited for thee. Come down fiery fires and take me from this terrible street of pain, suffering and chavs.


Hold on a minute, I need a burger.


Typical Mcdonalds, always wanting money for their food. Well I've got your money, Ronald. I've got all the money.


Even though the woman questioned my motives and told me to stop taking photos, I persisted. I thought that restaurants had to have an open toilet at all times. I know it's only Mcdonalds, but still...


He was neither man nor beast.


I'd lost enthusiasm for the end of the world by now, so I ran away with my McChicken Sandiwches.


I sat alone on a bench or a floor and tried to come up with an answer for it all. I was disturbed by an angel. Bloody angels always sticking their noses in.


After failing to come up with an answer I went home to vomit in peace.