The Long March: Chapter II

I literally have no idea which way to go, so I pull out a little map that was posted to me. It is of little use, it covers too small an area, so it might aswell just be a photo of the building.


I decide to follow my instinct and end up on Siemens Way. Ha, siemen.


After some serious thinking I decide that it is best to look for the River Tawe and follow that. After ten minutes of searching I find it. What is that trolley doing there? I find it very hard to believe that someone who lives in the water has been using it for shopping, but what other possible explanation is there?



I follow the water for a bit, but disaster strikes. This is not the river Tawe, it's a god damn lake. Where the hell am I? There's no lake on the map.


I spy something in the distance; a windmill. Never fear, I can always ask the windmill keeper where the parcel place is. But, alas, it is one of those modern ones that doesn't have a little man inside.


I take a big gamble and decide to leave the cycle path I am on and cut through some bushes. I end up in some maximum security Fujistu centre where everyone has an id badge and a suit. I stick out like a sore thumb in my football shirt and sweaty head.


I manage to escape, only to find myself back on Siemens Way. I give up. I wander into a Jaguar showroom and ask a salesman where to go. He points me in the direction of the Royal Mail building, but I explain that I've already been there and I'm looking for another place entirely. I show him the map and he points me in the right direction. I walk on for 30 minutes, sweating, bleeding and sweating.

I pass the Ramada Jarvis. If this was Final Fantasy I would stay at the inn to rest myself, but this is real life and I am out of Gil.


I carry on wandering. The roundabouts that the car salesman promised me are nowhere to be seen. Never trust a salesman, he will send you to the end of the Earth when the only place you want to go is the Parcel Force depot.

Stop the bus! What is this? I know this name, well I don't but the name of ths car place matches the name of the road I've seen on the map. It's too much of a coincidence. Samlet and Samlet.


I peer through the dirt and grime and manage to decipher the strange symbols found upon it. I am heading in the right direction. Someone really should clean the sign.


I practically know where I am now, so I feel confident enough to stop for refreshments in a petrol station.


Wow, I feel dizzy. I've been walking for too long in this heat. The room is spinning, but it is very spacious.


Mmmm, Coca Cola. You can't beat a 69p can of Coke.


After what feels like days of travelling I finally find the place. It is an uninspiring sight. I expected something much more grand.


Into the office I go, but there is no-one behind the counter. I knew it was too good to be true. Undoubtedly a virus that turns people into zombies has taken hold of the staff of Parcel Force and they've all disappeared to eat brains. I wonder if this customer has been infected.


The woman comes and takes my details, but I'm not interested in parcel matters anymore. I've spotted a suspicious looking lock. It has Roman numerals for god's sake. It is too mysterious to be in the reception of a delivery company. Where does the door lead? Kwandor, the medieval town in the 10th dimension? Japan? The staff room? I can't even begin to grasp what the door is trying to tell me.


I give up trying to decipher the code held within the lock and leave. I do not leave empty handed.



Will I ever make it home? Find out soon in the thrilling final chapter of The Long March.