A Birthday

So it all began on a hot summers day outside the Village Inn. In the background you will notice a woman in a wheel chair, she is so fat that she has 17 wrists (approximately).


The heat was too much for me to handle, so I frowned.


Then I bought a vodka with a pink stirry thing in it and everyone said I was gay. I was, in fact, straight. I also had a pint of Carling.


Then we moved on to Olchfa House, now a Toby Carvery. We sat outside under the biggest umbrella in the land. I had a pint of Carling.


After this we walked to the next pub. Here is some walking action.


We stopped in The Vivian, but I took no photos. I had a double vodka and lemonade. Ice? Yes please.

The boys then decided to seperate from the girls and we walked on to the next pub. On the way I stopped off in Subway for a foot long cheese steak. In the background you will notice a boy named Keir making a very aggressive hand signal.


Then we went to the Sand Bar, which is a pub not a bar. I played pool and had a double vodka and lemonade. We sat outside as it got dark. If this was 50,000 years ago we wouldn't have been able to see a thing. God bless electricity.


The group was very much split in two, boys vs girls. The tension was beginning to heat up.


Then we went to the Potters Wheel and the tension reached a dangerous level, because someone shouted "Don't sit by her, you're not going out with her anymore." It was very much a joke, but the boys and girls were forced to seperate again. I had a double vodka and lemonade. Outside, the birthday boy spotted someone in an RAF uniform, because he is in the RAF he decided to talk to them, even though it was simply fancy dress. One of them was navy.


Then the boys went into the Orange House. We played on the itbox. Hex mainly. I had a double vodka and lemonade. The girls tried to get in, but the bouncers wouldn't let them because it was late. Boys 1 Girls 0.


Then we left and there was sick.


The sick caused someone else to be sick. Luckily the domino chain was broken after just two.


The birthday boy was very drunk now. He headbutted a shop and a bank. With interest rates as high as they are these days I wasn't going to stop him. Then he became infected with madness. He ran around preaching about bombs. He rolled under this lorry in search of a bomb, but I wasn't quick enough to catch him.


Then we walked across Castle Garden. Not really a garden.


And found some people from Nottingham who were Forest til they die. I get really annoyed by these modern day fickle football fans. Whatever happened to supporting your team after death?


Then there was a homeless man. I don't know what is being said here, but I can be certain that chewing gum was not thrown by either party.


My face.


I stopped taking photos and we went in Play. Becci hadn't spoken to me all night and I text her to ask her stop. So she spoke to me. Just before this someone burnt my arm. Then my mind broke and I went home.

The End.